Getting Healthy Journey Post 1

So, I think every blog I've posted thus far, I have explained how this year is about me. Well, here goes some more info about my journey thus far. I am what the medical field calls, morbidly obese. I am about 100 pounds over the ideal weight for my height. Am I happy about this fact...truth... reality? No. I actually have not been happy about the fact that I've been overweight for most of my life. I look back at #TBT (Throwback Thursday) pictures and wish I could be that size again. I even make the comment, "I was considered fat back then!" Which is the truth.

So now the question is, "What am I going to do about losing weight?" I've got to do it somehow. I'm tired of looking at the mirror and not in the mirror. I'm tired of going clothes shopping and coming out with only underclothes because my size clothes aren't available or don't look right on me or cost too much. I'm tired of not feeling comfortable in my own skin. The list goes on and on. I, most times, put on a face that I'm okay with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm growing and learning to love me. But I want to love a healthier me, not just a skinny me. I beginning to love me enough to care about my health because it's a concern that I have. I cannot do it for someone else. I have realized that. For me, being healthy includes mind, spirit, and body. In order to become a healthier me, I have to first notice what needs to be changed. As I work on this, I will blog about something that has been pointed out to me that I need to work on. As a heads up, I will be VERY transparent in these blogs. So, here we go.

One thing I noticed about myself is that I was/am an emotional eater. In the words of one of my friends, "Master your emotions". I am getting better at this. Mastering your emotions simply means.... DON'T ACT OUT OF YOUR EMOTIONS. This doesn't just mean when someone makes you mad, don't cuss them out. Or don't try to get vengence because that's God's thing to handle. But I had to realize mastering my emotions also included the way I eat naturally and spiritually. What does that look like? I'm glad you asked. Natural example, because I feel lonely or happy or pissed, don't sit and binge on food. Spiritual example, because something is being said that I don't completely understand or want to hear, I tune everything out. Unless God tells me otherwise, I have to be ready and willing to hear/eat what needs to be said to me whether I want to or not. After hearing/eating, I talk(pray) WITH God about it.

These are things that I have and at times still do struggle with. A lot of times, things happen and I want to give a person a good talking to or as some say a good ole tongue lashing. Or because I simply went to the doctor and they told me I have high blood pressure AND type 2 diabetes at 31 years old, I wanted to go home and eat all the food my stomach could and couldn't handle. Or because my pastor is telling me something I really don't want to hear but need to hear, I want to hang up the phone and hear nothing else she has to say. These are examples of my struggles with mastering my emotions. All of these examples affect my health. We as humans have emotions, and that's okay. But work through your emotions before speaking, making a decision, or picking up that bag of chips.

So in the efforts to stop naturally overeating, I have joined weight watchers! NEVER thought I would ever say that. But, I'm so glad I did. I am alloted so many points a day. And I have a certain amount of overage points for the week if I need them. I am proud to say that I have used the overage points only ONE day and it was only 3 points out of 49 that I used. I have not started to work out yet, but it's on the agenda starting today!! So, in ONE WEEK I have lost FOUR POUNDS!!!! I was so nervous but at the same time excited to weigh in. I now understand why the meetings are so imporant. I get enouraging words from others. I'm in a room full of no judgement. The people have been or are currently where I am. Which is simply to lose weight while getting healthy. It has blown my mind how many people come out to a meeting at 7:30 in the morning on a SATURDAY!!! But we all come together to encourage each other and give new ideas. I am surprisingly doing something new and loving it.

Well, that's all I have for today. I hope this encourages everyone who reads this. If you want to join weight watchers, let me know BEFORE you do. I think there is a possible way for both of us to get ONE month free if I refer you!! So, email me at jay.robin10@gmail.com. Use the subject of Weight Watchers Referral. If you have any questions or comments, please do leave a comment below or email me with the subject of Blog Reader. Make today a great one. And remember, MASTER YOUR EMOTIONS.
 

Trust

Lately I have been thinking A LOT about my life. What it has looked like. And now currently what it looks like. I told my best friend today, "I don't know how to be happy or live life." I already knew that she was gonna give me an answer that I needed to hear but so didn't want to hear...lol! She said, "You have to get to a place where you trust God completely. A place where you trust that He has everything in control. Give up control. You have a control issue." <-- A mouthful, right?

But she was right on point. I never thought I had control issues....until she said that. It makes so much sense. Some people who know me, know that I have a HUGE issue with change. And it's the type of change that I can't control. Honestly, I have been totally lost because my life looks NOTHING like I thought it would. Right now. I am 31 years old. Single. No children. Finances aren't where I'd like them to be. Such is life. MY thoughts were that I'd be married by now with 1 or 2 children at least. Finances great. And take family trips. Sometimes just me and the hubby trips. And working on the vision God gave me when I was a teenager.

But when I really look at me and my life circumspectly (thanks Recina), I realize I am in NO place to add people to my life. A husband nor children. And I'm still learning how to be a good steward of my finances and life in general. As I think of these things, I realize that God knows what He's doing. I'm appreciative of how my life is at this moment. I don't understand why I haven't learned lessons earlier, but God knows. And I have to walk in COMPLETE trust IN Him. This journey I am on feels so long. But I'm in the right place at the right time. And beginning to ask the right questions to the right people at the right time.

So, if you don't COMPLETELY trust God for and in EVERYTHING in your life, ask Him to help you get to that point. Don't be discouraged by the things that may come your way. Your faith and trust and request WILL be tried by fired. But if you hold on to God and follow His command and His Word, you WILL SURELY come out as pure gold.

Changes

We go through life meeting people, having friends, and just going on with everyday life. And then the inevitable happens, change. We never realize how much we depend on or get used to someone or something until change happens. Change will always happen because it's within the process/progression of life. But to be honest, sometimes we're not always ready for the way things may change.

There have been so many changes in my life recently that I don't think I can count them. These changes have truly affected my life. I have struggled with the changes. I've had sleepless nights. I've cried myself to sleep. I've questioned God as in to what's the purpose of this change or that change. And there's one thing I've learned with all of this. I can't change who I am or the fact that things bother me the way they do. But i can change the way I REACT to the change.

I've learned, it's ok to be sad, mad, angry, happy, delighted, etc. But do NOT act out of those emotions. A lot of times when something new happens, people often react as in to how they feel at that time. But that's when you get people saying something that they really don't mean. It feels good to say at that time. There have been a few times I've wanted to say a few choice words....lol. But I learned from my pastor, don't act/react out of my emotions. We all have probably been hurt by someone in that way. But if we would take the time to cool off and then react, we would be better off.

This also goes for things that we get excited about. There are times we get great news or offers, but we don't think things through and end up in a situation where we don't want to be and can't/don't know how to get out of it.

So, i wrote this blog to let you know, it's ok to have and deal with your emotions. Just don't react out of your emotions. I hope this blog helps someone. #STILLLEARNING