Getting Healthy Journey Post 4

It's been a LONG time since I've blogged. I didn't understand why I couldn't get anything out. But after today, I get it. So, here we go.

I have said while losing weight I will blog about what is revealed to me that I need to work on. So the past few weeks there have been incidents that have revealed how big of an affect my selfishness and unwillingness to change has on others, not just me. For so long, I would hide my emotions of being upset or pissed off about something. If someone made me upset or did something I didn't care for or change something in a way I didn't like, I would act as though everything was ok. But once I got home, I would let out how I felt or I would be quiet and think about what happened. For a while I've been asking God to show me myself. I've asked Him to let me know what I need to work on. Well, some things have happened lately and it was things I didn't like or wasn't fond of. So as a result, my emotions of being pissed have been exuding from me and affecting others. In response to me letting someone know that I'm still trying to process things, I was told that I need to let it go. That I need to move passed what's happened or changed. But my question to that is, how do you honestly let something go or get passed something?

Honestly, at first I was thinking people knew me as this nice, sweet, cool with everything person. So, I felt that everyone expected me to be that way ALL the time. Why can't I have my moment while at home? Why couldn't I have a day of being pissed? Why couldn't I have a day of being in my emotions? I was tired of putting on a smile for everyone. I was tired of feeling as though no one treated me as I treated them. But during church, it really hit me. I'M THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM. This was God showing me....ME! I'm still working on MASTERING MY EMOTIONS. I have an issue and I have to stay prayerful with this.

In one of my posts, I talked about not looking IN the mirror. That I was just looking AT the mirror. I realized this not only is something needed naturally, but spiritually as well. I have realized that I have been looking AT certain areas of my spiritual life but I haven't looked IN the mirror. And since I haven't been looking IN the mirror, God had to put this issue IN my face. So now I have no choice but to deal with it now that it has been brought to my attention. I KNOW this will be a process. But I'm willing and ready to deal with this head on.

So, now to my weight loss. Within the past few weeks, I have gained 1 pound, lost that 1 pound, lost .2 of a pound, and this week I lost 1 pound. I'm still moving forward with this losing weight. It has been a struggle but I'm willing to continue. Although I have been losing weight, I haven't kept up with my exercising nor sleeping well like I used to. So this week I will be changing some things in my daily regimen in order to do better with both my weight loss and spiritual life.

I hope this blog helps someone who reads it. If you have any questions and/or comments, email me at jay.robin10@gmail.com or leave your questions/comments in the comment area.